Ponder This….

Two stories made headlines this week, one nationally and the other locally, that can, almost, be opposite ends of the taking your kids to work dilemma many parents struggle with.

This is not to be confused with “National Take Your Daughters To Work” day that was politically correct a few years ago.

OK, the first was at JKF Airport in New York City. Apparently an Air Traffic Controller brought his kid(s) to work because area schools were closed due to a holiday or snow day. Audio tapes were made available and one can hear what sounds like a young person directing a JetBlue jet to take off. The pilot (or we assume the pilot) responds and the small person says something else piloty and the pilot answers back. Now it’s pretty clear by the dialog that someone with some extensive air traffic control knowledge has told this small person what to say. So we can also assume that the small person wasn’t looking at that screen air traffic controllers look at and barking out orders. Duh! The Controller jokes with the pilot saying “That's what you get, guys,  when the kids are out of school”.

OK, when I read it, I confess, I laughed. It reminded me of the time when I was in kindergarten and my class was going to go ride Amtrak for a field trip. I was terrified. My step-monster took me out to the mine where he worked and let ME drive an engine back and forth, up and down the tracks until I wasn’t afraid any more. I wasn’t in any danger. The public wasn’t in any danger. Why? Because I wasn’t actually driving the train, my step-monster was. I just thought I was. This small person wasn’t actually directing air traffic, the AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER WAS!! Unprofessional? Oh hell yeah! Should have known better? Oh hell yeah! A crisis in the air? No fucking way.

So now, there’s this big deal, money out the ass being spent to “investigate” this matter. What’s to investigate? The dude fucked up. Punish him fairly and go on with your fucking lives. Nobody died. Nobody almost died. (well except maybe the air traffic controller who had to face his wife). Lighten up people. Times are hard, and this wasn’t the end of the world. Not national, oh hell, international (cuz we can’t keep out mouths closed) news!!!!

The next happen here, locally. Monday morning an 18 month old baby girl had a doctors appointment. Her father picked her up at daycare at 8 am for the appointment. The appointment took longer than the father had planned and in his haste to return to work at around 11 am, he neglected to remember to drop his daughter back off at daycare. Unfortunately, he neglected to even remember he even had his daughter with him. When he clocked out at the end of the work day, walked out to his car, only to discover his baby, in her car seat, dead. Unprofessional (or unparental)? Oh hell yeah? Should have known better? Oh hell yeah! (I wouldn’t want to fare his wife) A crisis in America today? Yes, indeed it is. We citizens are so completely stressed out that we can’t remember the most basic things, not to mention all of intricate details our brains explode on everyday.

As a stay at home mom and now a  frazzled working parent I can feel two sides to these stories. I couldn’t even begin to afford child care today. I am so very lucky my kids are old enough (chronologically) to be left alone. Cell phones have a leg up there; I am never more than a phone call/text message away. There are 3 of them and although they claim to hate each other they really are thicker than thieves. Ain’t nobody gonna mess with one without getting their asses handed to them by the other two. But, I would come just short of stealing and killing to keep them safe, so if I had to take them to work, because I had no other options, I hope my employers would be patient and understanding. I may not be a completely functionally person that day, but I’m there and able to be near if needed and take care of my kids at the same time. I have a responsibility to keep them under control and not let them bother others, if not, clock out, take the pay bite, and go have a picnic with my kids. Allowing this kids to talk on the radio, even with direction was wrong, but not something to get worked up over. The second father was so stressed at being gone longer than planned, worried about the pay he was losing, hurrying and simply forgot. The Mom in me is outraged, hurt, incredibly sad. How on earth could you forget your child? Watch the movie “Something to Talk About” with Julia Roberts & Dennis Quaid. Right at the beginning of the movie the stressed out parents are rushing around with their daughter in the morning getting ready for work/school and the Mom walks out the door without her daughter. A coworker relayed a story to me this morning about his own moment of forgetfulness in leaving his infant daughter home, napping, when he got so frustrated at a home repair gone wrong, that he rushed out the door to the hardware store, only to suddenly remember 4 miles later about his daughter. Rushed home and thank God, she was still asleep. He feels so bad for the father of the dead girl. He knows how easily it can happen.

So, in conclusion, employers, general public, people who don’t matter, relax, take a deep breath and thank God neither father was you or yours. Both will pay for the error of their ways for the rest of their lives, they don’t need your judgment on top of it. Mr. Air Traffic Controller, look back at this one day and laugh when you're playing with your grandchildren in the park. Mr. Overwhelmed Father, I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain that must endure.

Both men just made mistakes and to err is human, to forgive is divine.